Kiss

I like saying goodnight with a kiss.
​Wishing for a warm body though only twisted sheets cover me in the dark.

Your eyes don't change color in the dim light, like my sterling ring reflecting the streetlamps.
Listening to you breathe
while you listen to me breathe,
though neither of us move
and hours seem like minutes in the small bed
… Why sleep when I can be with you?

Now I lay here alone wondering --
how many blurry-eyed sunrises I've seen through a lifted blind and dirty window
how many times have I fought my eyelids to have one more second.
how many times have I cried, hoping you would be there
when I open my eyes
when I turn on the light
when I reach out my hand

I think of the smells --
the cold breeze
the river
the grass
the dew
the skin
and the sheets --
And the sounds --
of sirens
and silence
and sighs.

All this knowing I won't get my way.

Settling for swirling colors and Heaven and light in lonely slumber. Hoping one day I get my way.

© S. Amanda Clevinger